Thank you, Hashem

מה אשיב ל'ה, כל תגמלוהי עלי

How can I repay Hashem for all His kindness to me? (Psalm 116:12)

Along this most terrible and painful journey, Hashem’s loving touch was plain to see. It is incumbent upon me to express my appreciation by mentioning some of the kindnesses that come to mind.

1. 31 wonderful years. I wanted and anticipated so many more – 50, 60+... but some people don’t even get a fraction of what we had, so I thank Hashem. I said a number of times that I would have preferred 51 mediocre years instead of 31 wonderful ones, but now I’m not so sure. 

2. 24/7/365 – we both worked mainly from home. We never tired of each other’s company. Thank you, Hashem, for giving us such a happy marriage.

3. 2 ¼ years ago, Hashem made it possible for us to make aliyah. We truly ‘lived the dream’ every day we were down here together. Without doubt, these have been the best 2 ¼ years of our lives. So, again, thank you, Hashem.

4. Hashem brought 3 of our 4 children to Israel. He settled our daughter (with her family) 200 metres away and a year later he brought our eldest son and his family and settled them 100 metres away. Our youngest, recently married, lives a bus ride away in Jerusalem. Our youngest daughter is spending more of her time here. Thank you, Hashem! How on earth did you do that?!

5. With all our grandchildren within a 200 metre radius, not a day went by when we didn’t spend time with one or more of them. What pleasure this gave my wife. Thank you, Hashem.

6. This terrible chapter took place in the space of one month, from start to finish. But sometimes a person will leave their home in the morning and be ‘taken away’ in an instant, G-d forbid. Even though this broke our hearts, Hashem, thank you for letting us be around the bed at the end.

7. Barb never found out how sick was. She never asked the doctors the crucial questions. As far as she was concerned, she would improve, get out of hospital, travel in weekly for chemotherapy and then recover at home. At the end, she was sedated and never knew that she was slipping away, so she never had a moment of fear. Thank you, Hashem, for hiding the seriousness of her situation from my darling wife.

8. Thank you, Hashem, for sparing my wife from losing her beauty – her hair, her strength, her sharpness of mind – which would have followed as day follows night. Also, thank you, Hashem, for sparing her from the surgery that was scheduled for some time down the line...

9. Thank you, Hashem, for the wonderful, personal and loving treatment we received from the staff at Shaarei Zedek. They treated us like friends, not patients. They did everything they could. The first thing the department head told me was that if our insurance didn’t cover our bills, the hospital would meet our all our costs.

10. And most of all, THANK YOU Hashem for getting us to the wedding and home again. It was only through your incredible loving kindness that you let my wife fulfil her dream of walking our son together to the chupa. In both of the previous weddings we had been blessed to make, the mothers escorted the bride and the fathers the groom. Barb was so happy when she found out that the custom in Milwaukee is for the parents to escort their child. Had this illness started just one day – perhaps half a day earlier, I doubt whether we would have made it onto the plane. Our son would have been walked to the chupa by his older brother and sister and Barb and I would have watched broken hearted from home... and the result would have been the same. So, my Father, although you took my source of all my simcha, you took us to the simcha – and you didn’t have to. Thank you, a million times. 

And you also got us home. Had our flight been a day later, perhaps half a day later, we would not have made it on to the plane. We would have been stuck in the US – with no medical insurance. The moment we became aware of Barb’s condition in Israel, our medical insurance was voided. If we would have been stuck in the US, the result would have been the same, but we would have lost our house to pay the medical bills. So, again, thank you, Hashem. You saved us from financial devastation.